When positive self-talk doesn't really cut it...

To me, it takes more than generic cheerleading self-talk like “You can do it!” to practice self-compassion. Sometimes, I have to acknowledge that I’m not doing this as well as I’d like. Then, recognize that more challenging emotions are a universal experience and devise a game plan. This takes the mind tricks out of my head and into forward momentum.

For example, I'm selling my house, and it seems there is a new 'stage gate' to get through daily! I can get anxious about each outcome, or I can acknowledge my fear and decide to think optimistically until I have all the information. For example, I will choose not to worry excessively about this until I know whether it’s a problem. I don’t need to run through every scenario in advance. I can trust myself to make good decisions once I have complete information.

It's a good start, but then what? I don't want to get stuck ruminating. I'm a woman of action! How about that game plan? I like a good spreadsheet every now and then, but also like the techniques in this article and corresponding journal exercise that dive into "fierce" or "yang" self-compassion. The framework helps me land on actions I can take after cleaning up my self-talk. Questions like, "How can you motivate yourself with kindness, support, and understanding rather than criticism?" appeal to my love of getting things done!

The Yin and Yang of Self Compassion

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